the wedding vows

Just because it's sweet, and we never update this blog anymore. Plus, it's extra double cute that he pulled part of his vows from a post he wrote in this very blog itself...(sigh) Ah, love!


His:

I vow to love you and honor you.
You will be first in my heart, above myself and all others.
No plan or goal shall occupy my mind but that you know its detail.

I vow to care for you and keep you well.
I will walk the path before you, and protect you from all harm.
If there is but one piece of bread at our table, you shall eat of it before I.

I vow to know you and to befriend you anew each day.
I will spend countless hours tending your secret garden.
When your heart is wounded, I will play with you, and chase away your fears with laughter.

I give you this ring as a reminder of my love for you.


Hers:

To tell you that you are the man of my dreams cannot possibly do justice to the way I feel about you. You are more than the man of my dreams, you are the man of the dreams I hadn't even thought possible.

You exceed every expectation I ever had for a husband, and my respect for you as a man, as a lover, and as a friend goes beyond measure with words, but that won't stop me from a lifetime of trying.

I promise to not remain the same woman you fell in love with- instead, I will grow stronger, wiser, more joyful and trusting, and better able to express my love for you with each passing day.

I promise to put in the effort it takes to keep our lives and our relationship healthy and strong.

I promise to make our love and happiness as a family my utmost priority.

I promise to support you by being an honorable wife, your best friend and confidant, and, as always, your number one biggest fan.

I know in you I could not ask for more, and yet I cherish the knowledge that you will endlessly surprise and amaze me with your purity of heart and integrity.

Not only do you love me, but you heal me. I am forever grateful and find great honor in being chosen as your wife.
I love you.

a song for Prince Charming, my hero!

I've been sitting here listening to this song over and over and being all happy and weepy and thinking about how much I love you.

It was my favorite show when I was a kid, because it had the greatest theme song ever...and I found it today and started bawling as soon as it came on, I probably haven't heard it since I was 8, you know?
It's more fitting than ever now...

It got me to thinking about how freaking incredible our lives together are and how incredibly happy you make me. And although I have a long way to go with the pains that I carry in my heart, you have already helped me heal so many of them...

Being with you is like some amazing fairy tale come to life. All those beautiful girlie dreams I had when I was young, about some prince who will save me from all the scary things, and carry me away to live happily ever after... for so many years I shunned those dreams. My experiences jaded me and I locked all those hopes away. I really thought I had destroyed them at one point.

Then some goofy song comes on and I sit here bawling like a baby and thinking about how much I love you, and I realize that my dreams finally did come true.
Thank you. Thank you for being the man you are. I am so in love with you.

This sure is a mighty pretty rock on my finger. I like the way it sparkles and stabs glittery shards of brilliance into my brain. Very interesting, that.

I can't wait to marry you....
~sigh~

The Bliss Of With

I
You have come to me out of antiquities
We have loved one another for generations
We have loved one another for centuries

You teach me to trust the voice of my voices
You teach me to believe my own believings
You touch the palpability of my possibilities

Together we reflect what our mirrors conceal
Together we upgrade the sun in our meridians
We remain open night and day to transcendence

You are incompletely disguised as a mortal
You are the eternal stranger I have always known
I saw your wings this morning
I saw your wings this morning


by James Broughton

Last night I was telling my friend Michelle about how we met. About how I tried to resist you. About how I wouldn't let you have my number and I refused to call you or do anything past e-mail.
Do you remember the first IM conversation we had? How ridiculous it was? How we were both giddy and goofy and freaked out?
Oh- I just went and checked and our IM archive is gone. I am very sad.

(pause)

Anyway, it's funny to me to think back to those early days and how you were a complete stranger. How did I not know you were my best friend? How did I not recognize that immediately? (giggles) I don't know.

But now I do, and now I see our love growing deeper and stronger with each day and each new set of circumstances that confronts us.
Sometimes I just marvel at us. A few minutes ago I was getting the laundry put away and had to chuckle at how I hang your shirts- button the top two buttons, then alternate down the shirt. Then I scoot all the hangers to the symmetrical distances you like them.
(shaking head)
A couple of crazies, we are. How did we ever date anyone else? How could other people even have put up with us? How could they possibly understand?
It's really awesome to know that even in my most neurotic of moments you can understand and appreciate what I'm experiencing. And when I come out of the bedroom wearing a pleated pink mini skirt and argyle tights you just laugh and tell me I need a pink spiked collar to go with it.
How many times I have done things and my significant other responded with, "uhhhh, ooooooooookaaaaayyyyyy?" The funny thing is, I'm sure the same thing has happened to you and you get it.

grateful

Hi honey,

Here I lay on our back porch, your groovy laptop allowing me to sit in the sun and surf (pun intended).

I wonder sometimes: how did life become so wonderful? Why was it not always this way?

As we sat and ate our lunches today, I looked over at you. You're so beautiful, so handsome, so incredible. Some cheesy song was playing on the radio, and you were singing along. I thought: He's PERFECT, just absolutely PERFECT for me. And I'm endlessly amazed at what a miracle it is. What a miracle you are.

It choked me up so much that I couldn't eat anymore. I just sat there in happy adoration and appreciation of the man you are. And I'm excited to see the man you become in the years ahead.

I am so in love with you.

pillow talk...

You mesmerize me. You speak and I am completely enchanted.
I don't know how you have this power, but it's amazing.
I am left speechless and breathless and....
I love it.

YLTU

I've noticed that I am used to being in crappy relationships. So used to it, in fact, that I respond to you with knee jerk reactionary tendencies over small, every day interactions.
I am so used to being with frogs that sometimes I momentarily forget you are a prince.
I'm sorry.
I love you.

Another 14 days (more or less) and I'm yours forever.

Well, I'm already yours, but lack proximity.
Soon I shall fix that whole proximity predicament.

(happy spastic monkey noises)

After our marathon relationship discussion this evening, it occurs to me that loving you is going to be a long painful road that is totally worth it. You ask the questions no man ever has. You have the patience to wait and the determination to prod for the answers when need be. You have the integrity to answer my questions, no matter how difficult or downright loaded they might be. You have the vision to see through my learned suspicions and call me on them. You make me question and even seek out the darkened cess pools of my own psyche.
It's all horribly painful and tear jerking.
It's catharsis.
It's amazing.
You make me feel understood in a way no one ever has.

love at first sight

I'm sitting here looking at the picture of us smooching on that first weekend when we met. It's one of the most beautiful pictures of us- it captures the tenderness AND lust, and reminds me that I couldn't stop smiling and I couldn't keep my hands off of you.
I always believed in love at first sight, but never really experienced it until the night you arrived. You drove up on your bike and took off your helmet and WHAM! I mean, I knew what you looked like, it's not like that was a surprise. It was more the expression on your face, and that I knew I was looking into the eyes of someone I knew I was about to fall in love with. I couldn't really look you in the eye...I kept looking away. You wrapped your arms around me and asked me if I was afraid to look at you, I nodded yes. You told me I was adorable. I didn't feel adorable. I felt like someone had hooked up an electrical current to my body, my mind and my soul. I was completely overwhelmed.
I still am.
I am totally blown away.
You are a miracle.

I don't know how I can possibly express how much I love you. I will endlessly try though. I will never let you forget how much you mean to me. I promise.

wandering pondering thoughts of you

How could I love anyone more than you?

I sit here and think of you, 500 miles away, and still feel like I'm walking on a cloud...
knowing we're going to be living out life's more mundane moments soon...not just dreaming of them...
will the sparkle fade? Will the reality be less than we imagine?

When astronauts travel through space and get closer to stars, do they look less beautiful close up? Dimmer?

Hell no.

We will both shine brighter and light the way for our own offspring.
I can't wait.

a reply to your bashfulness

How many times can you tell me "you're the smartest, most beautiful woman in the world before you get sick of it?"
Before I get sick of it?
Uh, that WAS a rhetorical question, right?
Just in case it's not, the answer is NEVER.

NEVER.

From a mere mortal this praise would become tiresome, but not from you my love. When will you tire from my adoring gaze? When will you ask me to cease loving you? When you have a rough day and you come home to have me explain that the world is filled with inappreciative morons but your home, your castle, is not, will this ever grow to annoy you?
Come now.
Really.

I promise to treat you like the god that you are. All I ask for is the same in return.

It occurs to me...I am not just a crack whore for your love...I am a crack whore for your respect, trust, admiration, adoration, interest, amusement...for every beam of light that pours out of you and shines onto me... it makes me feel stronger, complete, whole.
I've always thought that I needed to find that in myself WITHOUT a mans help...and I have...but now it's deeper, somehow far more meaningful that it was before.
I'm not sure how it all works. I just know that it does.
And it rocks.

from old e-mails

"OK, here goes... I really like you too. You're on my mind a lot.
There are definitely alarms going off in my head regarding the
seemingly imminent threat of you being everything I've ever wanted in a
woman."


(introspectre giggles relentlessly!!!)

How you doing with that imminent threat now, darlin?
(WINK)

good morning my love

Enjoy your day!
Shine brightly!
For I adore you,
And you are mighty....

(rhyme not intended but what the hell, I'll keep it)
(What? I am not a dork! Ok, maybe)

Have I mentioned yet today that I love you?
No?

I woke up at 5:30 this morning, with my brain off and running to organize the details of moving...I've been sitting here looking up moving options and making lists and planning all morning.

(grin)
Just so you know.

Every night when it's time to hang up, I ache for the sound of your voice before you go...and after we hang up I usually lay there for a few minutes with my lip stuck out, sad and disgruntled at being pulled away from the life affirming warmth that is you.
Soon....soon......
(sigh)
Soon.

super double bajillion yays!

Oooooooooh baby,
I can't wait to be there. And the cloud that has followed me around for a month or so has lifted and I feel free. It's crazy, normally the mere idea of packing up and moving 500 miles to be with some guy would strike me as complete insanity, but this seems so right...anything else would be insanity.
I can't really express my joy adequately.
I've got the next lifetime to do it, though.

I am so in love with you.........

I'm going to run off and marry you.
Ok?

Regarding new rules....

Ok, so I hang up and immediately do the math.... 8 pm is 20 hours from now.
20 hours!!!!

Oh....I know, I know......

Tell it to my lip.

"Home - is where I want to be
But I guess I'm already there
I come home she lifted up her wings
Guess that this must be the place
I can't tell one from another
Did I find you, or you find me?
There was a time Before we were born
If someone asks, this where I'll be . . . where I'll be...."

Talking Heads, This Must Be The Place (Naive Melody)

I have come to the conclusion that mere language is simply not enough to convey the love in my being for you.
However, despite this realization, I shall continue to articulate my love for you via this limited and archaic method of information transfer.

watching the signs

Last night you were listening to America, and singing along....and I curled up in a ball on my bed, held the phone closer and closed my eyes and sang along, too, knowing in that moment that everything was right with the world, at least OUR world.
This morning we're both stressing about how to see each other this weekend and the moment I walked in to work that very same song was playing...

"will you meet me in the middle?"

I see us cuddled up on a couch 8 hours from now.
My will be done.

"Sun lights up the daytime
Moon lights up the night
I light up when you call my name
And you know I'm gonna treat you right

You give me fever when you kiss me
Fever when you hold me tight
Fever in the morning
Fever all through the night

Romeo loved Juliet
Juliet she felt the same
When he put his arms around her
He said 'Julie, baby, you're my flame
Thou giv-est fever when we kisseth
Fever with the flaming youth
Fever I'm afire
Fever yea I burn for sooth'"

Elvis Presley, Fever

I'm stripped to the bone
bared before you, I tremble
pained lesson, to trust...

you are my angel
fear's no longer an option
time to let go; grow

stress

I have the image of the two of us getting squished down into a funnel aimed at our future. It's getting tight and uncomfortable in here, but soon we'll pop out the other side.
SQUISHY!!!! ARGH!

"When I'm with you I don't know whether I should study neurosurgery or go to see the Care Bears movie...."

Weird Al, That's What You Do To Me

dreaming of you:

Tonight you're driving to your friends house in DC. I drank champagne with my friend and stayed out in the sun waaaaay tooooo looong.....and fell asleep. I knew you would call me when you got there, but instead I dreamed you came to see me. You and I were laying on the couch and I was still trying to joyously wrap my mind around the fact that I got to be with you, kiss you, make love to you....and the phone rang. I woke up, answered it, heard your voice and realize it was a dream and you are hundreds of miles away. When we hung up I laid there and cried.

(long pause)
I know we have the rest of our lives. I know a few months aren't long by comparison. I keep telling myself these things, but.....(bursts into tears again)....

I miss you

IM chatter

(8:38:31 PM): Completely unrelated. Do you like my blog user name?
(8:38:37 PM): love it
(8:38:50 PM): actually chuckled about farsight+introspectre
(8:39:08 PM): I know, me too after I saw them side by side.
(8:39:14 PM): like I look in and you watch out
(8:39:20 PM): its awesome
(8:39:36 PM): We're the spiritual crime-fighting duo!!
(8:39:43 PM): Farsight and the Introspectre!!
(8:39:50 PM): EVIL BEWARE!!
(8:39:53 PM): I'm so totally going to make us capes
(8:39:57 PM): Dude.
(8:39:59 PM): Do it.
(8:40:00 PM): dude!
(8:40:21 PM): I'll make you f#@k me in that cape though!

Listen To The Mustn'ts

"Listen to the MUSTN'TS child,
Listen to the DON'TS,
Listen to the SHOULDN'TS,
The IMPOSSIBLES, the WON'TS.
Listen to the NEVER HAVES
Then listen close to me-
Anything can happen, child,
ANYTHING can be."

Shel Silverstein, Where the Sidewalk Ends

I had a friend ask me about you today. She wanted to know exactly what I thought of you. I looked her in the eye and said, "He is heaven wrapped in flesh, " without smiling.
She stared at me. And then started jumping up and down while squealing.
Obviously, she gets it.

missing you

I must be grateful for the pains of love
I must be grateful for the pains of love
I must be grateful for the pains of love
I must be grateful for the pains of love
I must be grateful for the pains of love
I must be grateful for the pains of love

Perhaps if I keep saying it I will make myself believe it.
It pains me to be without you. But I must not wallow in my sulkiness, I must be grateful so the Universe will continue to bestow magnificence upon me.

MUST.....BE........GRATEFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

how your love makes me feel:

"Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise.

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these sunken eyes and learn to see
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to be free.

Blackbird fly Blackbird fly
Into the light of the dark black night.

Blackbird fly Blackbird fly
Into the light of the dark black night.

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise
You were only waiting for this moment to arise
You were only waiting for this moment to arise."

The Beatles, Blackbird

Dude. Seriously.

Being with you is like standing in the presence of God. I want to bask in your mind numbing radiance. Everything that comes out of you is golden. If you think it is any other way, you're freaking nuts.

I wake up in the morning and my groggy half lidded thoughts start to take inventory....LOL...it's the best way I can think to describe it. And my mind always runs to you...which either causes me to snap awake in excitement or drift back to sleep while smiling. Each morning, without fail, I am acutely aware of the distance between us and it pains me. Then I think I should be grateful for that pain, grateful to have found love, grateful for you no matter how far apart we are.
This morning I am filled with a joyous anxiety. I want so badly to be with you, and it seems to get harder every day. I don't want either one of us to do anything rash or foolishly impulsive....but I have to confess moments like this make me wonder.....how in the world can we wait much longer?
So I am determined to redirect that energy to finding a solution.
Somewhere in the ethers a solution waits....
and it makes me want to drop to my knees and pray for guidance in finding it.

Somewhere in the ethers a solution awaits us.

from e-mail:

I feel like words have reached a limit when I think about you. I've never felt at a loss for words to describe the way I've ever felt about any man.
I can only describe it in emotional metaphors:
my love for you feels like an underwater electrical storm, through which I have the incomprehensible ability to soar.
It's light, it's dark, it's shocking and soothing and life altering.
Knowing you and our union has caused me to grow, to change, to awaken....and it's a nearly tangible change taking place. I feel like me, but different every day. As if you are some wonder drug that causes me to discover who I really am, and thus I am better able to see the beauty in the world around me.
You electrify me.
I love you.